News in Review I

Great News for Gourmands

Obese mice on a high-fat diet got the benefits of being thin — living healthier, longer lives — without the pain of dieting when they consumed huge doses of red wine extract, according to a landmark new study. -from 11/02/06 AP story

Great! So, now, as long as what works for mice will work for humans, we can gorge ourselves on fatty foods and cancel it out by washing it all down with some red wine! Don't worry about diet or excercise; revel in your Epicurean lifestyle! Man, if this is true, I'm eating Big Mac's with a bottle of Merlot every night.

Surprise!

Amanda Brisendine attributed the 30 pounds she gained in the past year to an abandoned smoking habit and rich food. So when she went to the hospital with sharp stomach pain, she wasn't expecting to leave with a newborn son. -from 11/01/06 AP story

Now, granted, I know very little about pregnancy, and I don't want to be one of those men that puts his foot in his mouth about something he will never truly understand, but, what!? How do you go 9 months and not know you're pregnant?

Woman: "Honey, good news! I found a great weight loss solution!"
Man:"Oh yea, what's that?"
Woman: "C-section! Meet your new son!"

Um...Why is this News?

Barb Dougherty, a 30-year Postal Service employee, said she was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel while delivering mail in Oil City, about 75 miles north of Pittsburgh. -from 11/02/06 AP story

I mean, sure, it's a bit odd, but c'mon. War, faminine, disease, and squirrel bites... At any rate, at least the mail was delivered...come rain, snow, or small furry animals!