"We spend our life trying to bring together in the same instant a ray of sunshine and a free bench." ~Samuel Beckett from Texts for Nothing
Every so often you run across a quote that so captures a feeling or idea that it lingers with you for years to come. It hangs in the air like a long extinguished cigarette and when you think you've forgotten it, the scent surprises you with its strength.
This quote from Beckett captures the human condition better than just about any I've read. The beauty of the quote is that it can be seen differently depending on where you're coming from. If things are going well for you, then you can see your free bench, you feel the hardness of the wood, you hear the creak of the planks. You know the feeling of the sunlight: the warmth and the patterns it makes on your closed eyelids. Whatever that "thing" is, you've found it and the last thing you want to think about is its fleeting nature. Philosophy, religion, theories of life and good living; what do they mean now? You're resting, you're warm, you don't want to be disturbed.
However, when "reality" sets in, when you find yourself in a rut or the burdens of day to day living are weighing heavy, then this image becomes an ephemeral one. It's something out of movies or books, not something that actually happens. You feel the ache for what you know could be if you could just... But the park is crowded and the sky is darkening and you really should be getting back to work.
All too often, it is the latter view that we have. And we search on. Perhaps the sad thing is not that we don't find our perfect combination of sunlight and an open resting place, but that we shoot so low. "All I want is..." But, what if we are destined for something far greater than anything we can imagine. Is it worth waiting for...just for a little longer? Biblical texts about storing up treasures in heaven and keeping our lamps trimmed and burning for Who is to come seem comforting, but what happens after Sunday? That image of the free bench, the warm sun beam, the rustle of the wind, and the distant sound of children's laughter drowns out the words of wisdom we heard. "If only I had that..."
We are eternal beings in a temporal realm. The place where these realities meet is our constant struggle.
The problem with eternity is that it is a word. While people go on struggling with the temptation of now and the forgiveness of the future, we seem to really be struggling beneath the illusion of that future as a fixed place and event. What I mean to say is, as I discussed with a friend earlier today, that heaven is not at all physical but entirely spiritual, which i am sure you have heard before, as good ol' jezy said, "the kingdom of God is within you" (luke 17:21.) So when people look towards the future, particularly in death, as experiencing some kind of fixed unchanging heavenly place, they are missing out on the true meaning of eternity. Simply explained: how can you have sunny days without rainy days. Conclusion: you cannot, WE ARE ALREADY THERE, WE ALREADY WERE, WE ALREADY WILL BE, because "being" means changing; being is variance (variation on life's theme), some call it "the eternal now"- Melville said, "Cultivate your own insular Tahiti"- You can live in a popular palace but still remain locked by yourself in hell, or you can live in a shitty barn but remain in a state of bliss within- remember that movie "life is beautiful"- remember radiohead said: "you did it to yourself and that's why it really hurts"- our goal and our true "work" is to carry that bench and that ray of sunshine with us everywhere we go (or to have the foundation of "true home and true hearth" with us in the very most distant and often treacherous of lands) and remembering to take a moment there regardless of our physical setting. One more pithy qoute somewhat on board with this subject: "the trees reflected in the river- they are unconscious of a spiritual world so near us. so are we."- N. Hawthorne.- I like to think that what makes us matter is making matter matter.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, thanks for provoking my thoughts and pulling me a little bit further out of the grave that is the www and the rest of the contemporary cultural waste that always variantly exists throughout human society. "You're just a human, a victim of the insane." J Lennon. Peace and God bless (i truly enjoy your blogs)- mark anderson
I wouldn't be so quick to write off heaven as only a spiritual realm. In a Christian context, why would God go to the trouble of redeeming the fallen physical world if only the spiritual matters?
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, I agree it is important to think positively about the world we are in. Attitude is important in how happy you are in life. However, there are many things out of our control that may never be fixed in this world, which is all the more reason for a good attitude. We are called to be joyous in everything we do, but also to look to the joy of a better world coming.
Thanks for commenting. We'll have to talk about this more later.